When Being the “Perfect Fit” Gets You Absolutely Nowhere

Job hunting! That magical process where you carefully study the job description, check every requirement, and think, “Wow, this role was literally written for me!” You polish your résumé, adjust the wording so it mirrors their responsibilities word-for-word, hit Apply, and then… silence.

No call. No email. Nothing. Just you refreshing your inbox like a stock market ticker, waiting for the recruiter who will never come.

Step 1: Reading the Job Description Like It’s a Horoscope

“Must have 15+ years of Salesforce experience.” Check. “Experience managing global stakeholders.” Check. “Ability to juggle flaming swords while blindfolded.” Check.

I mean seriously, I could have written this job description myself. It’s my career autobiography. Surely, this one’s in the bag. Right?

Step 2: The ATS Eats My Resume for Breakfast

Silly me for thinking a human would actually read my résumé. Nope—first it must survive the ATS Hunger Games. Didn’t include “strategic leadership” exactly as written in line three of the job post? Congratulations, you’re now “unqualified.”

Meanwhile, I’m sitting here thinking: If the system is this picky, why not just hire the "ROBOT" instead of making me suffer?

Step 3: Realizing the Role Was Probably Fake Anyway

Oh, here’s a fun twist: some companies post jobs they don’t even plan to fill. Or worse, they already know who’s getting it (spoiler alert: it’s the hiring manager’s cousin’s friend from business school). But hey, thanks for letting me waste three hours customizing my résumé for your “equal opportunity” charade.

Step 4: Networking, Because Apparently Skills Aren’t Enough

Oh, you thought talent and experience mattered? Cute. No, no, no—what you need is a referral. A magical golden ticket from someone who already works there. Because clearly, if I can’t have coffee with the hiring manager’s neighbor’s dog walker, I must not be qualified.

Further, finding a referral ...ahh LinkedIn .... may be the tool ... but not really.... WHY? seen my blog on "LinkedIn Connections Or Ghosts"

Step 5: The Endless Rejection Emails (If You’re Lucky)

And if by some miracle I do hear back, it’s that automated rejection email with the classic line: “We had many qualified applicants and unfortunately you were not selected. ”Translation: “We barely looked at your résumé, but thanks for playing!”

Final Thoughts from the Rejected Yet Again

So here I am, a professional who literally matches every responsibility listed, but still can’t land an interview. Maybe the problem isn’t me. Maybe it’s the system. Or maybe companies just get a kick out of rejecting the exact people they claim to want.

Until then, I’ll keep applying, keep matching responsibilities word-for-word, and keep getting ghosted. Because nothing screams fun quite like chasing opportunities that don’t want you back.

Job hunting: truly the best unpaid full-time job I never applied for.